Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
