ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
