Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
