Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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