Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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