Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
