did you get engaged???
i just had sex bonerless
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
