I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
