glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
