she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
