Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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