Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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