SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
