Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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