Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
