You can't motorboat a personality
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
