at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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