remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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