So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
