whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
