Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
