it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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