I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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