I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
