Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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