Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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