Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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