Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
