I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
