He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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