This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
