I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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