and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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