So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
