I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
