She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
