i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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