My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
