OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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