when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
