Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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