The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
