Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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