haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's Friday. Sex?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
