Jerry, you need to find god
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
