Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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