I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
