I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
