i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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