yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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