is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize