You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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