My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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