32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
