Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
