the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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