I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
