Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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