I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
