You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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