the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
