I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
