At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Mom said you looked used
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
