And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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