I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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