Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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