I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
