dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
