halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
