You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
