He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need to sanitize my soul.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
