ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
