Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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