We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
